Idiotic things that Cardi B has said. (Sort of, everything she’s ever said.)

Wonderful quotes by Cardi B

“You know when a girl is getting fucked? I ain’t worried about no Plan B, but I’m not tryna say getting fucked and getting ejaculations in my pussy. I’m trying to talk about when I sucky. I don’t suck the dick, I eat the dick. You know what I’m saying? I’ll take the whole nut. Like, real bitches take the whole nut. Sperm is wealth. No, sperm his health.”

^^ I’m pretty sure she made this into a song, next. It looks almost verbatim. And then, in order to look “woke“ the Grammys gave her a present.


“You know, I did a video a very long time ago, about two years ago. It went extremely viral. I cannot even believe that it went viral. But it was very cold. I was in North Carolina, and I had a bra, and a fucking skirt, and I said, “You know a hoe never gets cold.” And I said that, because bitches, us bitches, we don’t be giving a fuck about the weather. Bitch if I wanna wear this shit, I don’t give a fuck. And I’m going to wear with no fucking coat. Because I want motherfuckers to see this outfit! So many people use that line, “A hoe never gets cold.” So y'all already know. You know what the motto is. You know my rules. You know what I’m about. Bitch, wear that dress. It don’t matter if it’s fucking 10° outside. Take that hypothermia for fashion. We gonna take that hypothermia for fashion. A hoe never gets cold. Ya heard me?”

^^ If my daughter admired this hoe, or looked up to her, I would hold my kid underwater until she stopped struggling. 

“My first piece of jewelry, my most expensive piece of jewelry, was a Patek watch*. A $100,000 watch. A lot of these rappers, they get jewelry, but for some reason, when I got it, it went so viral and everybody was talking about it. Because a lot of people like to call me broke. And it kind of bothered me, because I know that I’m not. But then again I feel like it’s so unnecessary to be like, “Oh I’m not broke! Look at all this shmoney that I got in my bank!” I’m not going to post up what’s in my bank account and I’m not the type of person to be like, “Yeah look at all this shmoney that I got. What’s good?” Because it’s kind of tacky, and you could get robbed too. You can get robbed, and it’s like when some people ask me for money, I be like, “I don’t got it.” And I don’t want them to know that I got it. So, I’m just not gonna… I’m just gonna let what I wear and what I have talk for itself. Like, alright. I’m a broke bitch with a fucking $100,000 watch. I’m a fly-ass, bum bitch. Damn I’m one fly-ass, dusty-ass bitch. It’s good to be a bum. So, that’s what I was talking about.”

^^ She can afford to ramble. The watch had hands on it, and she had to learn how to use it watch with hands on it.

“KSR is my management. My management is called KSR. My managers, they made a whole group, and they have a lot of talent. My homegirl Hood Celebrity, she’s an artist there. Josh X, he’s an artist. Cashflow Harlem, he’s an artist that’s under my label. Swift On Demand, he’s a producer under my label. Jay White, he’s a producer under my label. And it’s just like, KSR chill, y'all! We’re gonna go to the top. Yo, I got this. My Delawarean publicist, she’s KSR. Slutmonkey.”

^^ The dream team of mathematicians, marketing consultants, metric-analysts, and accountants. 


“When I said that part, I wasn’t tryna talk about filters. Like, the filters for my face. Nah. Sometimes I gotta use the fucking filter for my face. I be looking crusty, sometimes. But no filter, I don’t got no filter in my mouth. I don’t filter what I say. That’s what I’m tryna say. But when it comes to the real filters, nah bitch! You’re better put a filter on this fucking video. The fuck? You better make me look fucking pretty.”

^^Much easier said, then done. She was working on the record for the number of times she could put the word “fuck” in a paragraph.

“That’s that lingo. It’s like, you be on that thottery. Like, bitch you be thottin' around. You just be suckin' and fuckin' for free. Because I’m not even gonna call a bitch a hoe. Like, to some people, a hoe is a bad word, but to me it’s not a bad word. To me, a hoe is a bitch that’s fuckin' and doin' what she gotta do for bread. Thots, though? Like, bitch you a fuckin' thot. You fuckin' the world for free. You be on that thottery. Sucking dick for nothing. Fuck outta here. How you suckin' dick and fuckin' everybody and your rent is not paid and everything? You be on that thottery. You need to get on that hoe'ry!”


^^ I don’t know how other people take her seriously at all she’s like some kind of animal with a pen. Or a cat with oil paint on its paws marking up a canvas. She’s just talking about being a dumb slut. Songs, lifestyle, and grammar of a dumb uneducated whore. And it’s artistic?

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